Ikea :: "Ikea is great. Cheap, easy to put together... it comes with all the pegs and the screws - you don't need languages with the instructions."   Indecent proposals :: "The other day I was doing a signing session when two women in their late thirties - typical American housewives - came over, said hi, and asked me if I'd like to go to dinner with them and then on to a concert. Then they gave me this invitation. On the top sheet it said the name of the band and the time they were playing, then you flip the page and there's the address and time they're going to dinner. And then there's a photo of them in men's suits with no shirts on, and their tits hanging out. It was kinda obvious they'd both breast-fed at one time or another because their nipples looked like old chewing gum. I kept the invitation, but I didn't go."   Internet :: I don't read the Internet. Bathroom wall bullshit. :: ::

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