Ask A Silly Question; Dave Grohl

Time Out

With a new DVD, 'Everywhere But Home', out in time for Crimbo, Foo Fighters mainman Dave Grohl gave us a tinkle.

No, not that kind of tinkle! Best thing you can cook?
I can smoke turkeys and I'm pretty mean on the grill. I can feed 60 people in half an hour. It's all about the timing. Don't put the asparagus on first. Put 'em in last.

How long's it take to smoke a turkey?
A three of four pound turkey breast might take five hours. But you gotta stoke your chips or your fire will go out.

But, everytime you open up the smoker you lose 15 minutes of cooking time. That's true. So you gotta fuckin' know what you're doing.

First gig you ever went to?
Naked Raygun. The opening band was called Rights Of The Accused. At a place called the Cubby Bear in Chicago in '82. No, actually, the first show I ever went to was when I was two and I saw the fuckin' Jackson 5 at the Ohio State Fair. But I don't really remember it.

Best ever single?
Was 'Kashmir' a single? I can't imagine that it was. Well, it would've been the best ever single. Let's go with the fuckin' 'Bo Rap'.

The what?
'Bohemian Rhapsody'!

What did you want to be when you grew up?
I kinda wanted to be a helicopter pilot. I'd take the storm windows off of our house and set them up in this little cage thing around me and sit and pretend I was in a helicopter.

Have you ever followed the dream?
Well, no, because now that I'm a rock musician, helicopters are way off limits.

Dude, never put a rock band in a helicopter.

Why not?
I got three words for you: Stevie, Ray, Vaughan. Okay?

But that's like saying never put a rock band in a plane. Two words: Buddy, Holly.
Well...uh...yeah I guess you're right. But helicopters are spooky man, they don't have wings.

Should the Rolling Stones have split up years ago?
They should've fuckin' bagged it after 'Beggars Banquet'.

George W Bush. Discuss.
I think it's a pretty dire situation that needs to be changed and I think it's gonna happen. I think he'll be out next year. Fingers crossed.

Describe your average fan?
Zits. Braces. And money for T-shirts.

What's the weirdest story you've ever heard about yourself?
Probably that I nailed Christina Aguilera. That was a weird one.

That you sent her a letter?
No, that I fucked her.

Oh nailed! I thought you said mailed.
Hello dude! I have met her, but I never fucked her.

Did you kiss her?
Hell, no, I didn't kiss her, she's a kid man. 13 years old.

She's older than that.
Barely. I'm an old man dude, I don't go around fucking little pop kids.

What is the question you most hate getting asked?
Anything about Courtney Love.

What did you parents do for a living?
My mother's a retired English teacher and my father's a retired speech writer.

Who did he write speeches for?
Mainly Republican politicians. He's not like me.

Do you get on?
Yeah, we get along great. They're musicians too. Dad's a classical flautist.

What's your most extreme perversion?
Oh jeez, I don't really have any. I guess I like being beat up a little, I think that's kind of fun, but I met someone the other night that was talking about freezing their poo and fucking people with it.

Yeah. Insane. We didn't go into details but that's about as extreme as I've ever heard.