"This Much I Know..."

Observer Magazine

A decent breakfast, a nice swim, a cold beer and good company. These are the things that make me happy.

I hate audible chewing. Not so much jaws clicking but the sound of food being processed by your teeth and tongue. That makes me want to punch a wall. I can't stand it.

Dave Everybody's aware of the German compliment, right? 'Tonight's show was very nice... whereas last time it was shit.'

I have a cheeseboard. And a whole knife set. I usually serve pretty generic cheeses to guests because you don't want them to puke. I don't mind foul-smelling cheeses every now and then, but there aren't too many people who enjoy Stinking Bishop. There is a 'Dave only' cheese: it's called Esrom. It's got a mild taste - but if you touch it, it smells like you've handled a corpse.

A beard like mine doesn't help any man's quest for girls. It's like a spray that you put on your face to make sure women stay away from you. My wife loves it.

One of the best things about getting older is realising how much you don't know and how much there is to learn. I've been around the world a few times and seen a few things and experienced quite a bit. There's a lot more to do, a lot more things to see, people to meet.

Women - more than anything, more than the way a guy looks - are attracted to a sense of humour and a sense of charm. If you seem like a fun bloke to hang out with, the ladies are going to want to hang out with you.

I have Googled myself. I found a lot of information that I already knew.

Technology gets to me. Being a drummer for so long, I didn't have to deal with electricity, so I'm practically Amish. I have a BlackBerry that I don't know how to use. Most technology seems like a leash to me. But I don't mind turning on the TV every now and then.

The freezer section at the supermarket reminds me of Kurt [Cobain]. That's where we used to go and buy frozen dinners. I remember the two of us spending half an hour looking at all of them, trying to decide which one had the most amount of food for the least amount of money.

If you're going to get a tattoo, be prepared for it to hurt. No matter where you put them, they hurt. I love tattoos on women. Lower-back tattoos. The bullseye!

Finding jeans that fit me isn't so difficult any more now that skinny jeans are back in America, where most people are overweight. For the last 10 years it's been like a Happy Mondays concert - everyone in baggy clothes.

Japanese hotel porn is creepy because it doesn't look like anyone is enjoying what they're doing. They make it seem like crime, and I'm not into that.

I know some bands that have done some pretty fucked-up shit backstage. More than you can possibly imagine. I can't name names. Probably the ones that you'd most expect. Then again, the country artists and the Christian artists definitely have backstage parties, too. Me? At this point I'm pretty mellow.

What do I do in secret... that I could tell you? I never feel like I'm 'in secret'. When I'm alone at home there's a lot of time spent standing in front of the refrigerator eyeing up what to eat. Nothing I could get caught doing? Not really. Outside of a good wank now and then, I suppose.

It could be worse, brother. Those are words to live by.