The head Foo Fighter regales us with tales from the road.
STUFF: So, where are you right now?
DAVE: Austin. Our drummer got arrested here once for either nitrous or pissing in an alley, so he’s hiding in the dressing room.
You’ve been packing arenas on this tour. Does your popularity faze you anymore?
Absolutely. This tour has been like a time machine back to Van Halen’s Diver Down tour. The audiences are nuts. I look out and see 15-year-old kids, and I see mustache mechanics with Big Gulp beers in their hands. It’s rock music, you know? There aren’t too many rock bands that you can have a good time with in an arena anymore. We’re kind of extinct.
How does partying on the road work these days? Are the wives along the whole time?
Not all the time, but most. There are kids running around and wives hanging out. It’s mellow. We’re not snorting lines of cocaine off strippers’ back tattoos. We might have a couple beers and a couple shots before and after the show, but at the end of the day, it’s all about the pizza on the bus.
A tour rider of yours said you would only share a dressing room with “Supergrass, Oasis or maybe Led Zeppelin.” Have any new bands made the list?
I think we might make exceptions for the Kaiser Chiefs or the Futureheads. Maybe for Death from Above 1979, High on Fire or Mastodon. Everybody else can eat shit. Get your own fuckin’ room.
Name a cheesy song you’d love to cover, but it would just be too embarrassing.
“2 Become 1” by the Spice Girls. I just pulled that off the top of my head. That’s amazing! I can’t believe that came out of my mouth. [Sings] “When two become one
” I might have to do an acoustic version.
Is there a song that's too perfect to cover?
Any Zeppelin. No one should cover Zeppelin. That's like slapping your Grandma in the face or something.
Would you ever cover a Nirvana song?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Those belong in their own place and time. I wouldn't want to ruin one of those. Those were three totally different people. Well, two of them were different anyway.
Do you play your between-song banter in advance?
Who knows what's going to come out of my mouth? It depends on how much I've had to drink. I've been embarrassing myself a lot lately. I'm like a fucking raunchy comedian making an ass out of himself.
Are you still dispensing cunnilingus advice?
I did that the other night, actually. I made some refrence that the only way you're going to please a woman is by asking her what she likes, and then I sort of compared the arena to one giant pussy. It wasn't cool.
Have you retired any songs?
“Big Me” Every time we played it, it would just start raining Mentos, and them motherfuckers hurt. We did a show in Canada and in the middle of the song someone threw a pack, and it hit me right in the face. I was so pissed. I picked it up and said, “It's been 10 fuckin' years since that video. I'm going to burn these Mentos onstage and finally get it out of my life.” I reached into my pocket and I didn't have a lighter, so I said, “Does anybody have a lighter?” Ten thousand people threw their lighters at me.
You've become the elder statesman of rock. What's the ETA on when you do a Bono-like transformation and start speaking before the U.N.?
I grew up outside of D.C. My father was a speechwriter and campaign manager, so I know how it works on the Hill. Politics are a nasty game. I'll stick to the private sector.
Are you the mayor of the band at least?
Dude, there is no fuckin' vote in this band. I'm the Ayatollah of Rock 'n' Rollah when it comes to Foo Fighters.