Recipie For 'A Foo-Be-Cue'

Summersault 2000 festival programme

Dave Whenever we have a few hours to spare (which is much less frequent than you might imagine), we like to find someplace with an outdoor grill and sit around for, uh, like hours......

1 large outdoor grill
1 cow
10 chickens
10 large fish (swordfish or tuna work best) - this is for Nate...who doesn't eat beef or chicken
1 trained and licensed butcher
100 buns
5 gallons of coleslaw
5 gallons of potato salad
30 bags of potato chips
assorted condiments.....but light on the vegetables (as Taylor won't go near a vegetable)
assorted Hostess products (Twinkies, Ho-Ho's, King Don's, etc.)
assorted popsicles

5 bottles of Crown Royal
20 cases of beer (the cheaper, the better)
1 case of red wine
1 case of white wine
1 bottle of Jagermeister (if you plan on having our drum tech attend)
1 can of Coke (for the designated driver)
1 copy of Back In Black
1 copy of Molly Hatchet's first album
1 Lynyrd Skynyrd anthology (best to just rotate these three albums....the last thing you want is music that sounds "fresh")

1 trailer (just for ambiance)
50 white tank-top t-shirts (for all)
A warrant for your arrest (again...just for ambiance)

1. Have the butcher do his or her thing with the animals to get them ready for the grill.
2. Arrange the grilling surface so as to make it look as much like a beer commercial as possible (this tends to produce the best results).
3. Serve food.
4. Eat food.
5. Sit around burping and saying things like, "Y'know, I might just have room for another burger" and, "Whew...that chicken tasted almost as good coming up as it did going down."
6. Drink.
7. Play air guitar.
8. Drink.
9. Pass out on lawn...DO NOT DRIVE, though.