Dear Metallica, (c/o Metal Hammer)
  Hey, it's Dave! Remember me? Yeah, I'm the guy that's been listening to your band faithfully since 1983. I bought your first album 'Kill 'Em All' from a mail order catalogue called Under The Rainbow, I think. Actually I can't remember. It was 1983 for Christsakes! but that album changed my life and I've been listening to your music ever since (even St Anger!).
  I can't wait to hear the new shit, and no matter what you guys do I'll always be the first one at the shop waiting to hear it. I'm sure you'll come out and blow everybody's fuckin' minds, because you're fuckin' Metallica!
  Good luck. And don't release it until it's kickass.
  Yours, Dave Grohl.
P.S. Are you finished recording the drums yet?