Satan Speaks


Dave as Satan Old Nick, Lucifer, Beelzebub, The Dude Downstairs.... He's a man of many names not to mention wealth and taste, but when Tenacious D decided to cast Satan for their new movie they opted for none other than Dave Grohl. Still, having spent seven hours a day in make-up, he should know a thing or two about the Devil.

What's it like to have all the best tunes?
Dave 'Satan' Grohl: "Well this rock'n'roll thing is easy! All you kids out there trying to figure out how to please me with your puny amplifiers and your measly Flying V's! I'm down here laughing at you....I can't do the Devil [laughs]! I need the costume!"

What's Satan's ultimate fantasy?
Dave: "Probably to go up to heaven and fuck all the angels. That's what I think Satan would want. Of course, Satan is a fallen angel but his fantasy is to make his way back to heaven and maybe not fuck all the angels but to live peacefully ever after. Maybe Satan's a sad God. Maybe he really wants to be good, he just doesn't know how!"

But you've got Bon Scott and Jimi Hendrix down there to keep you company!
Satan: "Well I think those guys are in heaven because they did so many good things for so many people....Well, maybe not! Bon Scott's probably in hell."

What's your proudest achievement as Satan?
Satan: My proudest achievement as the Devil is still, and will always be, getting George Bush in office as president of the USA. That took a lot of string-pulling, but I made it happen."

What does Satan do when he gets the horn?
Satan: "When people flash the horn at him?"

Er, no. When he gets excited sexually.
Satan: "Oh God! Can you imagine the size of Satan's dick? Satan's cock must be enormous! I'll tell you what: when I put on the Satan costume on the movie set, I walked out of the dressing room for the first time and some girl who was working on the movie looked at me and went, 'Oh my God! That's so fucking hot!'. I think she wanted to get nailed by the Devil! But she didn't so she'll have to wait until she goes to hell."